Sunday, 29 May 2016

On Reflection

Lesley says: "I do hope that all is well."  She has noticed that I haven't posted since December.

My initial reaction is to send a quick reply "thank you for noticing and yes fine" but the reply wasn't sent, the weeks slip by and I ponder: perhaps all is not well?

Perhaps there is just a natural cycle for blog-writing.  Initial enthusiasm, a contented maturity and then a gentle decline.  I wrote far fewer blogs last year.  I'm a great starter of things and a lousy completer-finisher, running out of steam before the project is finished.  Then the gap between blogs becomes too great to start again. The habit of sitting at the keyboard to share my thoughts is lost.

So do I just thank my readers (reader) shut down and walk away?

And yet there is a niggle of regret.  I miss the writing: that looking for the well-chosen word, seeking to evoke a mood, capture a scene so that the reader is there with me.  This strange duel process of writing - the introverted, solitary act of placing words on the page juxtaposed with the extrovert arrogant assumption that someone, somewhere, is going to read what I have written.  Is the introvert in me saying "enough"?

And then there are all the stories not written, piling up in a mound of half-formed phrases 'til they become a jumbled writer's block - which story to post about? which phrase to pick out and work with?  Some of the stories are too personal, too raw, not mine to write about really and yet jamming my mind.  So better not to post at all.

Of course, there's the excuse of "too busy living this life to write about this life".  True, in a way, this last year for the first time we let the cottage as a paying gite and my anxiety about it all left little room for a well-thought few words at the end of the day.

And maybe the excited enjoyment of living in France has slipped away to become the mundane routine of the day to day - weeding, mowing, dusting, cooking, shopping - what is there to blog about there? My eyes no longer see the quirky, the unusual as I trudge through this life, head down.

Nine years on, we wonder about moving, concerned that we are becoming slaves to our life here - too much to do with all the land we have and the two properties to care for and pay for, yet loathe to leave our beautiful views and the space we have. So, for the moment we stay.

And I ponder some more: perhaps all is well and I have just lost sight of that in all the minutiae of our daily lives.

Thank you for asking Lesley. On reflection, I may just start blogging again.



12 comments:

  1. People start, pause, stop blogging for any number of reasons - but I would be glad to be reading your posts again - you can fix a moment for your readers, can let them see through your eyes and it's a valuable gift.

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    1. Thank you Helen. I love your writing and really appreciate your kind words

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  2. Very well put. You've expressed the dilemma of both blog writers and blog readers. I hope you find the energy to continue as your posts are interesting to read.

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    1. Thanks so much Gaynor for your comments. You're right - the energy hasn't been there in recent months, but in fact I find it once I start writing. :)

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  3. I do hope you start writing again. I've only been blogging for a few weeks and I'm already wondering how long I can keep it up for.

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    1. Hello Sue, thank you for your encouragement - I hope you too find it in you to blog for a long time to come. :)

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  4. What can I say? Thanks for letting us know that there has not been a 'disaster dahling' that occurred.
    Helen, Gaynor and Sue know that there are some that do and some that, like me, don't blog. I am sure that I get the good deal with seeing what's up in other parts of France, (now Costa Rica) and the world by what you share and really appreciate it.
    If it gets a chore we understand.
    So I'll keep checking and enjoy whatever you want to share. Thanks again.

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    1. Thank you Lesley for being the spur that got me thinking. And I will be blogging again. Maybe not as much in the past, but with pleasure once more. :)

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  5. It's been so long that I forgot that I have to say 'It is I, Leclerc'. Lesley

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    1. And a big thank you for this. I laughed out loud when I found the clip on You-tube. I'd quite forgotten. :)

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  6. I've missed your blogs too. I've no skill with words and have enjoyed your well-crafted comments on life in France.
    Good to know all is well and that you'll try to post occasionally.
    Lynne

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    1. Hello Lynne, thank you so much for letting me know. I had a father who was a great word-smith and lover of well-written books, so I had a good teacher. :)

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